A Tale of Two Students

A few weeks ago I spent an entire day having meetings with students and parents. The students were members of a program at school that is designed to identify the students who are struggling and provide them with the support they need to succeed. The kids in the program are very different and all have different issues, but one thing was true for all of them. The program is working. They feel more connected to school now than they did in October, and their grades are improving. The entire day, with the exception of one meeting, was powerful and uplifting and validated my choice to be a teacher.

The one exception was the last meeting of the day. This kid came to the meeting with his mom. Most of his teachers, the Assistant Principal and his counselor were there as well. The goal of the meeting was to talk about what we could do to help this kid, I'll call him Adam, do better. His mother basically told us that she had given up on him and that there was no hope. When asked, Adam said that he wanted to be a Navy Seal. He knew exactly what he needed to do to become one, and had set goals for himself to get there. His mother basically laughed at him and told us that we should not believe a word he said. It was awful. I cannot imagine ever getting to a point with Jack or Megan where I would sit next to one of them and tell him/her that s/he just isn't that smart. I left that meeting wanting to cry. Here you have a kid who should be doing great, and yet he's miserable. He has every privilege imaginable, and yet, he has no support. I know I don't know the whole story, but what I do know, is really sad.

On the other hand, one of the earlier meetings totally reinforced the decision to go into teaching. "Charlie," a kid from Marin City with no parent at home who was failing and headed for County as of October has totally and completely turned his life around. He has the highest grade in his Science class, he has a positive attitude and is talking to his counselor about what he needs to do to get into Cal. He was so grateful for the program and you could really tell that he is going to do what it takes to get where he wants to be. This is the first time in 7 years of teaching that I can look at a student and KNOW that I have made a difference to him. There have probably been more, but this one really matters to me. I am so proud of him. I left that meeting wanting to cry for a completely different reason.

For what it's worth, Adam has made a real effort to do better over the last few weeks. He has approached all of his teachers and is starting to make up for lost time. But still, you have to wonder, what's worse, having absolutely no parental guidance or having a parent who has totally lost faith in you?

I think that being a parent has made me a better teacher. The main reason is that I can look at all of the kids in my classes and say to myself, there is someone out there that loves this kid as much as I love my kids, and if there isn't, then he'll need to get support somewhere, and I can try to do that.